Absolute Randomness With The Warrior Cats
by TheLentilKittehOfRandomness
Summary: Warrior cats go random! With random rainbow kitties, angry waffles and mysterious boxes from the sky, you're in for a very random adventure. Also, we find out why Firestar hates waffles. Because we needed to know. Rated T because warriors. Disclaimer: I don't own warriors or any real life object mentioned or any of the characters (except for the ones with weird, un-warriory names).
1. The randomness begins!

**A new story *gasp* It's Randomness With the Warrior Cats (Is it though?) Anyways, enjoy and please review! I don't own Warriors (really should do that more often) or any social sites mentioned (except I changed the names a bit!)**

"Cats of StarClan!" A blue-grey she-cat with ice-blue eyes roared, "There is a prophecy! Bring Jay-Jay here!"

"Ugh, another prophecy, someone really needs to liven up this place!" A kit, the size of a newborn, mewed. Spottedleaf sped off and found Jayfeather.

"Jay-Jay, listen, I know what you're missin', no Iphones and tech, so this is what you'll get. Phones for every cat, this is where it's at, headphones for them too, including yoooooooooou!" Spottedleaf sang. Jayfeather sighed, confused. "Oh no, I'm not done, what're you gonna need for da long run? An epic charger so phones last longer! You know what, a box of tech, so you have all you can get!" The StarClan cats disappeared and left Jayfeather alone.

"Spottedleaf... Bluestar... Yellowfang!? WHAT DO I DO?!" Jayfeather yelled to the stars. A small voice echoed through the branches, so quiet that Jayfeather could only hear a whisper:

"The future of the Clans will be changed forever when the dawn rises that day. Ugh, that's our worst prophecy yet..." Then, Jayfeather woke up.

Nothing would ever be the same.

Chapter 1:

The sun rose amongst the branches as Firestar stirred from his nest, Sandstorm by his side. He flinched as his back hit something hard. _A twoleg brown cube thing? What's that doing here?_ He thought.

"Sandstorm! Look at this!" He whispered.

"What in the name of StarClan?" She replied, shocked. Firestar hit the box, toppling it onto it's side. Lots of weird shiny twoleg things fell out and Sandstorm curiously sniffed it.

"Doesn't smell of twoleg, neither does anything in the camp." Sandstorm observed Firestar as he grabbed the... _whatever this twoleg fox-dung is._ He looked at the back of it and gasped.

"This is a PawPhone 5! It isn't a twoleg thing!"

"All cats gather now please." Firestar yelled as cats of all ages gathered by the Highrock. "This is a PawPhone 5, you will all get one." He demonstrated how to use one and everycat knew after a while, even the kits and elders.

PawBuddy and Meowter were the most popular things they used on there but they also played games on their PawPhones like Angry Kitty.

Dovewing checked her PawBuddy account and got 1 PawBuddy request, 2 PawMessages and 5 Pawminders. She opened up her PawMessages and clicked the first one. _Tigerheart: I love you my sweet Dove, come to ShadowClan with me and I swear with all my heart I'll take care of you forever._ She read and replied, _Tiger I dunno if I culd do dat, wat abowt mi famly, ill miss dem 2 much 2 bear. Luv u 3._ She tapped the second one. It was from Ivypool. _Ivypool: Dovewing, I know about you and Tigerheart, please don't go with him to ShadowClan._ Dovewing gasped and replied: _May b i shuld go, i luv him so much nd luk, i havnt desided yet. I dunno :(. 2 hard 2 choose. How do u no enyway? Plus, im either havin his kits or bumbles, i dunno but wat if ther tigers?_

She then clicked on the PawBuddy request. _Firestar wants to be your Pawbuddy! Accept?_ She clicked 'yes'. The Pawminders were mostly game requests for Angry Kitty, in fact, only 1 wasn't. _You were tagged in Lionblaze's PawUpdate._ She tapped the PawUpdate. This is what it was.

 _Lionblaze:_ I'm so hawt everyone tagged themselves in this post automaticly!

 _I'm sure the comments would be hilarious._ Dovewing thought.

She read a few: _Jayfeather says: You're so wrong everyone Hi-paw'd my comment._ Sure enough, there were 52 hi-paws and only 1 claw. _Lionblaze says to Jayfeather: Not me! I clawd it u failed wow._ Another comment said: _Greystripe says: OH MAH STARCLAN EVERYONE EMERGENCY!_ Dovewing ran into the clearing where cats had gathered around Firestar. Greystripe was perched by Firestar.

"WHY DO YOU HATE WAFFLES WHY?!" Greystripe yelled. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO WAFFLES. THEY'RE DELICIOUS!"

"AHH WAFFLECLAN WILL ATTACK IF YOU DO THAT NUUUUUUUUU!" Firestar shouted.

"Waffles will NEVER attack, mouse-brain!" Greystripe retorted.

"TELL US WHY YOU HATE WAFFLES!" The Clan yelled.

"I..."

 **CLIFFHANGER! DUN DUN DUN! Thanks for reading! Find out why Firestar hates waffles next time! Please review.**


	2. Waffles! Oh my!

**Well... I'm sick :( So I'll just write fanfiction now. Please review! Also, thanks for the reviews**

"I..." Firestar started, unsure of what to say.

"WELL, Firestar?" Greystripe demanded. "Tell us!" The crowd around them were silent now, and the tension was rising.

"Okay, when I was young, a... kittypet, my twolegs had waffles and they came to life. At first, we were best friends. 'Always best friend.' he told me, 'forever.' He was my first best friend (that's a waffle). But then... he attacked me. 'WaffleClan, cat attack now.' Suddenly, all of the waffles attacked. They were mean... I didn't do anything bad. Luckily, my twoleg ate them all but before she ate the last one, he said: 'WaffleClan come back for you, attack again, revenge, Rusty, REVENGE!' All my life, I've never tasted waffles but... they'll get me, StarClan knows when, but they'll get me..." Firestar shivered and Sandstorm took him to the medicine cat den to calm down.

"Wow... I never knew it was that serious..." Greystripe sighed guiltily. _I didn't know... poor Firestar._

 ** _Meanwhile..._**

"Wafo?" A wonderful walking waffle called, "Are you there?" She walked into a den made of milk chocolate with skittles (the sweets) and m&ms (NOT Eminem). The floor was made of huge pancakes and had maple syrup on them. Delicious!

"I'm here, Waffilie. What need?" Wafo asked, covered in maple syrup.

"Need attack today. What Waffleto have wanted." Waffilie announced.

"You be safe?" Wafo questioned with a worried expression on his face.

"Hope so. But battle needed. I fight for Clan. I protect Clan. WaffleClan have honour. If I not back, I want you know that I love you. I always love you." Waffilie left the delicious den. _Rusty pay. Today, we fight. Today, Rusty's last day. Today, I survive again._

 ** _Clan stuff now..._**

Dustpelt zoomed like a cheetah into Jayfeather's den. "Ferncloud's having my kits!" He shouted.

Jayfeather and Dustpelt ran into the nursery where Ferncloud was biting on a stick. Leafpool watched over her, telling her to breathe. Jayfeather murmured something to Leafpool and Ferncloud. Ferncloud was biting the stick tightly.

Soon, the first kit was born, a rainbow coloured kit with spectacular shining purple eyes. She also had wings so is the BEST CAT 'EVA, AM I RITE'? Anyway, the second kit was born and had a poptart body and grey fur. He could also poop rainbows and fly so BESTCATEVERNOWYAY!

"One she-kit and one tom-kit!" Jayfeather announced, licking the kits' fur backwards.

"What shall we name them?" Ferncloud asked sweetly.

"Goodkit and Nyankit?" Dustpelt suggested.

"They're beauti-"

"ATTACK!" Cats yelled. Suddenly, waffles rushed into the camp, attacking the Clan. Firestar was clawing at a waffle fiercely. Dovewing was pinned to the ground by the waffle. She'd had her kit by now, Heartkit, but gave her to Ferncloud before this chapter started.

"How would cats like it if power cat taken or... killed?!" The waffle whispered, punching Dovewing in the face. Dovewing clawed back but was no match for the waffle and was taken from the battle to their camp.

Greystripe and Firestar fought back-to-back, clawing and kicking, but there were too many waffles.

"WE CAN'T GIVE IN!" Firestar screamed. "DEFEND THE NURSERY!"

Cloudtail was in front of the nursery, desperate not to let any waffle in. He scratched a waffle and chocolate sauce leaked from it. _I can eat the waffles; Greystripe will help, I'm sure._ He ate his way to Greystripe.

"Greystripe, eat all of them! EAT THEM!" Greystripe started munching on all of the waffles. Cloudtail was as well and soon there was only one waffle left.

"F-Firestar? Y-you used t-t-to be Rusty, I'm s-sure." Waffilie stuttered. "I'm s-sorry. I really a-am."

"Where's Dovewing?" Firestar demanded. "Where is she?"

"I don't know." Waffilie replied. "Can I join the Clan?"

"Sure. All cats and waffles cool enough gather here now." All cats gathered apart from a few. "Listen, Waffle is now Waffleysquare."

"Waffleysquare! Waffleysquare!" The cats cheered.

"Now, where's Dovewing?" Whitewing worried. No one else cared.

"Milkshakes?" Firestar wondered.

"AWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" The Clan went to Darkstripe's Milkshake-Icecream Place.

"A billion milkshakes of all flavours please!" Firestar bellowed.

And so they drank their milkshakes awesomely, got brainfreeze and went home.

 ** _Meanwhile..._**

Dovewing was trapped in a licorice rope with Wafo watching her carefully.

"You know, you cats are evil to mice and that. So when I found out some cats have powers, I was furious. You think you cats deserve superpowers? NO. YOU DON'T. YOU EVIL WAFFLEDUNG EVILNESS. HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT US! YOU CAN'T. WAFF LEWAF WAFFLE WAFF WAFF GRRRR! We'll be back for all the Clans! And there's nothing you can do about it! MWHAHAHAHA!"

 **DUN!DUN!DUN! Thanks for reading and please review!**


	3. Initiate party sequence

**A 3rd chapter! Thanks for the reviews guys! Hope you enjoy! I don't own warriors, Erin Hunter does (otherwise I'd be making this a book (just kidding))**

Firestar stood on top of Highrock and yelled, his voice echoing across the Clan:

"All of da cats from all da Clans and waffles get your lazy butts here!" Suddenly, all the cats were teleported into the camp. "I told you I went to Hogwarts, Greystripe, but did you believe me, _noooo."_

"What are we doing here, Firestar?" Blackstar demanded.

"Dovewing is missing! And now we are done with the not-caring thing, we need to start caring. SHE HAS POWERS! So, are we just gonna stand here while she's missing in WaffleLand."

"No!" The cats and waffles yelled, apart from one missing waffle, who was not there...

 ** _Meanwhile..._**

"Dovewing!" Dovewing heard a call. It was Bumblestripe!

"Bumblestripe!" She called back, love in her eyes. Suddenly, they ran towards each other in slow motion, a love song playing.

"Uhh, Bumblestripe, how long is this gonna take?" Dovewing sighed as she took another painfully slow step.

"I dunno, Dovey, use your powers and get us out of here!" Bumblestripe cried. And cried. And cried. And took another step that was as slow as Snailstar, the famous slow leader, but that's another story.

Suddenly, a poptart kit and rainbow kit shot through the sky, stole Dovewing and Bumblestripe, and returned to the Clan.

 ** _Back to the Clan..._**

Nyankit and Rainbowkit returned, the two missing cats on their backs, and landed in the middle of the cats.

"WE SAVED THEM!" Nyankit cheered.

"Can we be warriors now, mommy? Please?" Rainbowkit stared at her mother with pleading, adorable, cute, big, rainbow eyes. Ferncloud stared at Firestar with the same eyes and Firestar nodded.

"Rainbowkit, Nyankit, please step forward." The two she-kits giggled as they zoomed forward, "For your awesome, mary-sue acts of hero-ness, you will be named Rainbowepic and Nyanawesome!"

All of the cats and waffles cheered: "Rainbowepic! Nyanawesome! Rainbowepic! Nyanawesome!"

Rainbowepic and Nyanawesome blushed, oh wait cats can't blush, or can they? Nope, they can't so they cheered a lot.

"Let's throw a party!" The sisters yelled.

"YEAH!"

Soon, the cats transported to the gathering island, where they worked hard on making the best party EVER!

"Bumblestripe, decorations?" Rainbowepic asked.

"Yep."

"Heartkit, music?" Nyanawesome asked.

"Yes!"

"Cloudtail, food?" Rainbowepic questioned.

"..."

"Cloudtail?" She panicked. "What?" She gasped as she saw Cloudtail eating the food. "Stop!"

"Sorry, your majesty Rainbowepic the epicth." Cloudtail bowed.

After everything was in place, Nyanawesome shouted really loud, even The Dark Forest heard: "IT'S PARTAY TIME, YOU GUYS!"

Everyone danced on the dance floor, ate and all that good party stuff. And then, karaoke time!

Greystripe was first.

"I'd like to dedicate this to Silverstream..." He then started singing 'My Heart' by Paramore. By the end, everyone was crying. Millie, however, was so angry, and dashed to Greystripe, clawing him and starting a fight. Ah, yes, a fight at a party, so very rare. But this is warriors. So it needs description. Greystripe screamed and Silverstream came to back him up, jumping on Millie's back and surprising her.

"Ahhh-CHOOOOO!" Silverstream suddenly sneezed, sending seeds soaring in the sky. Is that a tounge twister? It just so happened she was near a flower. Millie was sneezed away and everyone declared the StarClan cat a hero.


	4. Random Just Got 1000 More Crazy

**Oh my StarClan! Another chapter. Huh. I also noticed I didn't put an author's note at the end of last chapter and it was much shorter than usual. Sorry about that. But this is longer, yay! Anyway, thanks for all the reviews.**

Firestar danced around the camp singing, "Millie is gone!" Over and over. The Clan cats were getting annoyed at this, including StarClan.

"He should just shut up, for StarClan's sake!" Yellowfang complained grumpily.

Suddenly, an idea popped into Bluestar's head and a lightbulb appeared above her, because that's what happens when you get ideas.

"What in StarClan's name is that?" Bluestar looked up, "well, anyway, I have an idea! We shall come up with another prophecy to make the Clans even more random."

"But what?" Whitestorm asked.

"I KNOW! I KNOW! PIIIIIIIIIICK MEEEE!" Spottedleaf yelled, excited. When no one else responded, she continued, "We give them sugar-filled cake and give them this prophecy, _to save the world from destruction and fear, get all cats to eat this everyday when sunhigh is near._ When they eat the cake, they'll be soooooooooo hyper, and I'd be soooooooo happy."

"Genius!" Ashfur called.

"WHAT WHAT WHAT IS CAKE? It sounds delicious." Lionheart questioned.

"It is delicious! More delicious than that mouse I... caught last week with Bluestar." Spottedleaf remembered.

 _Bluestar and Spottedleaf walked into Tigerstar's fast food place. The place was red, black and white in colour with lots of Dark Forest cats. They sheepishly walked to the counter where Darkstripe worked._

 _"Didn't expect StarClan she-kitties to be here! What would you like?" Darkstripe asked._

 _"Two mouse burgers please?" Bluestar replied shyly._

 _"And would you like fries with that?"_

 _"Who do you take us for? OF COURSE WE WANT FRIES!" Spottedleaf bellowed._

"Yeah, cauuuuuuuught." Bluestar rolled her eyes, but didn't reveal anything.

"Anyways, I'm gonna see a different medicine cat this time, hmm, Willowshine?" Spottedleaf used her random StarClan powers and a confused Willowshine appeared.

What will Spottedleaf do?

Spottedleaf used 'Tell about prophecy'.

"To save the world from destruction and fear, get all cats to eat this everyday when sunhigh is near." Spottedleaf repeated.

"M'kay." Willowshine poofed back to the Clans with lots of cake.

"Mistystar, Mistystar! I got a prophecy!" She repeated the prophecy to Mistystar and she gasped.

"Oh my StarClan, we must get this cake to all the Clans!" She announced, suddenly knowing the name of the food even though she had never heard it before.

24 hours later...

"DUNUNUNUNUNUNUN, BATCAT, BATCAT!" Birchfall screamed.

"No, Birchfall, it's DUNUNUNUNUNUNUN _UNUN,_ BATCAT, BATCAT!" Whitewing argued in the warriors' den.

Jayfeather danced in his den with his stick.

"ROCK, ROCK, WHERE ARE YOU ROCK?" He yelled, not yellowed, which is what the author may have put at first.

Suddenly, a furless, sightless cat rolled in.

"Look what the Jayfeather dragged in." Briarlight added, "oh, I had the weirdest dream that you were a wario."

"IT'S ROCK AND RO- wait where's roll?" Sandstorm called.

"Late." Rock answered simply.

Suddenly (again), a wild cat appeared.

What will Jayfeather do?

Jayfeather used 'Ask for name'.

It's super effective!

"Roll!? But in the stories, you're furless! Liar!"

"It grew back." Roll rolled his eyes. "Jayjay, are you sure you're not dreaming?"

Jayfeather pinched himself and shook his head.

"Oh, well then, I shouldn't be here. See you later." And Roll poofed immediately.

Firestar jumped onto Highledge and called, "All of ya get here nooooooow!"

The cats gathered in the clearing. Waffleysquare danced awesomely in the clearing, clearly not hearing Firestar. The cats stared at her and she blushed because waffles blush, if you didn't know.

"I just want to say... I like waffles, chocolate, cookies, candy and cake. If any of you have a problem with that, then just say: Well, Firestar, there is a problem with this because all of these are twoleg things as it is. LALALALALALALA LALALALALALALA LALALALALALALA LALALALALALALA." He sang.

"Yay!" Everyone danced to his made-up song.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Cinderheart screeched. Everyone threw food at each other. Jayfeather threw Waffleysquare at Lionblaze.

"Hey!" Lionblaze and Waffleysquare whined at the same time.

Sandstorm threw a waffle at Firestar.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH! A waffle? Are you crazy, Sandstorm?" Firestar gasped.

There was an awkward silence as everyone stared at Sandstorm, awaiting her answer. Sandstorm knew what she was going to say.

"...Yes." She answered. Everyone cheered and clapped for her.

MEANWHILE IN STARCLAN...

"Yes, your plan worked, Spottedleaf! Well done, have a cookie." Bluestar handed (pawed) her a cookie.

"A COOKIE, I SHALL LOVE IT AND FEED IT AND NAME IT..."

 **What will Spottedleaf name her cookie? Thanks for reading! Please review.**


End file.
